"My wife is a first-time mom-to-be and was recently diagnosed with gestational diabetes.  She's never been one to take medical news calmly, and quite frankly, she's freaking out about the issue.  How can I best support her during this crisis?"  -- Concerned hubby

When someone you love has an accident and you hear that it was "serious," you can't help but panic. Yet with a diagnosis of gestational diabetes, "serious" doesn't mean the next step is the ICU. Here, serious means you can't laugh it off, but you can manage the situation beautifully if you just pay it sufficient attention.

Gestational diabetes means, in essence, that your wife will need to follow a much more careful diet than either of you two is probably used to. If she eats the way she's been instructed, and keeps close tabs on her blood sugar levels, everything will likely be fine.

Here's what you can do: Take approximately half the responsibility of managing the diabetes off her shoulders and off her mind. Don't worry about this seeming to be codependent. It's your kid too, and if you're both highly motivated to do things right, that halves the burden. It's her body, of course, and she's the one who has to put the food in her mouth (or not put it in, as the case may be), but you can help. Take over the research aspect if you are good at that, or if your wife is the type who tends to imagine the worst. Go over the nutritional guidelines together and be sure you both understand them. Ensure that you have appropriate foods on hand at all times. That means going shopping with your wife, perhaps exploring different markets than you're used to, locating recipes that don't feel too utterly strange. It also means having approved snack foods on hand, as pregnancy does cause a ravishing hunger. Consider eating the same way she does, at least for the duration of the pregnancy. That may help her feel less alone, and help you to be more in tune with her. Offer to make a blood sugar chart for her, or to write down the numbers for her when you're around.

Don't forget to put your own oxygen mask on first, so to speak. If you allow yourself to get swept up in your wife's anxiety, you become useless to both of you. So find a friend or relative or someone you can explore your own fears with, and then you can focus on helping your wife deal with hers. A can do attitude on your part will work wonders on your wife's fragile psyche. And, above all, never make her feel bad for worrying. Moms-to-be, especially first-timers, have a lot of responsibility to get used to, and that feels hugely significant.

Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and author of Loving in Flow.